#5: Big Brother Africa

Our NM’s enjoy blood battles… the kinds that involve the English Premier League (think Liverpool, Man U, Chelsea, etc), the World Cup, Africa Nations Cup, Cosafa Cup, the soccer cup list is endless. They enjoy scraping their money together to make a trip to the local soccer hangouts. The affluent ones head out to spots like Moneymen and Alexanderz. For the imbibers, rounds of strong drinks circulate as they cheer on 20 men chasing a ball as 2 men try to keep a tiny ball out of the wide rectangle behind them.

We laugh at them as they talk about Fabregas as if they know him personally, offer tips to Benitez as if he were actually in the room…but NM’s passions are not restricted to soccer, many follow local and international basketball, golf, tennis, athletics, etc. What keeps NW’s busy as these men while their time away watching, or come to think of it, playing all these “life and death” games. The answer to some NW's is Big Brother Africa. Now having been a Big Brother addict myself in the past, I’ll break it down for ya.

First, Big Brother Africa gives NW’s an opportunity for daily free psycho-analysis practicals. The object of the psych-analysis practicals? 12 housemates locked-up willingly in a house of 90+ days. An example of a conversation between NW’s that love BBA (Big Brother Africa) would go like this,
“Did you see how ….?”
“Oh, yes, I actually stayed up to make sure I watch the entire conversation.”
“So what did you think? I knew that housemate had a vendetta against the other housemate….”

Secondly, I don’t know what it is but watching other people’s problems distances us from our own,
“ Ah, that Housemate, do you notice that s/he has issues, let me tell you what I’ve learned about him/her…..”

Thirdly, if a given NW’s life is bordering on boredom, she may choose to live vicariously through one of the characters in the House

Lastly, and most importantly, it’s a substitute for shopping. NW’s, like all other women, enjoy shopping. BBA gives u the “fantastic” opportunity to use your power (read MONEY) to evict a housemate. As the mobile companies get richer by the hour, NW’s that follow the show look forward to Sunday night AKA Eviction night when KB says to NW’s pleasure,
“Africa YOU have voted. YOU have spoken. And leaving the show tonight thanks to YOU is… [drum roll]… X!!
To which the said NW’s cheer,
“Ndinadziwa, sindinawononge voti yanga!”